Curtains

We are in the midst of repainting the living room and "need" to get new curtains. Now I don't mean to get all negative but I'm of the opinion that curtains are and always have been a product of the devil himself - in fact, I bet after Eve took a bite of the apple man grabbed his and her fig leaves for clothing and then immediately decided on a need for drapes in the dining room. If Lucifer is not responsible for curtains he most certainly had his hand in the invention of the valance. So you buy a drape and you think, hey, I could cover a window with this. But no, you need to buy two drapes so they part in the middle. Then you need to buy some kind of hardware to hang the two drapes. At this point you would think, ok I'm done.... Enter the valance which is a completely useless piece of cloth that hangs along the top of the curtains which as far as I can tell is there to hide the fact that you have curtain rods - but of course you need another rod for the valance. What next, another set of curtains for the valance to hide the fact that you need it to cover the rod that is there to hold the curtains that is there to hide the window. Do you see what is happening here? We are destroying ourselves! This is all evil! Pure evil! Maybe I'm all wrong, maybe people are not buying curtains for their windows but it's the other way around, and they in fact have windows so they can show of their curtains. Why not cut the window out of the whole deal and just nail the curtains to the side of the house so people could dive by and say, "Would you look at those lovely curtains."